After you karate chop a telephone pole in half with your car because the icy road thought that it would be fun to spin you around and then fling you off of it's slick, glassy surface you kind of need some ice cream.
So today I will send my dear hubby some texts filled with the things that I would love to have to eat. The first one will say...
--Dearest love of mine that should still be feeling some thankfulness in your heart that your truest sweetest love did not have to go to the hospital last night or break her lovely hands that cook you such good dinners and do all the dirty dishes and scrub the dirty toilet -- will you please bring me some chocolate ice cream?--
--Also, would it be possible for you to bring home a bag of those yummy pizza rolls that I do love so much just in case I accidentally become overwhelmed with emotion at my luck and good fortune and eat the rest of the pizza rolls I already have in the freezer to keep myself from crying?--
--Is this too much to ask after I destroyed your car and made you pay to buy a new telephone pole for the phone company?--
--Just a little? We are really broke now and I don't have a car? Well then...I guess ice cream could wait.--
You may think at this point I might drop it or reply with something like -Ok honey. I understand-
Because that always gets them. But I'm smarter than that. I just rethink my strategy.
--Could possibly we go visit my mommy and my daddy tonight so that I can let them know that I really am alright by eating a good hearty meal over at their house (from their cabinets, because we are really broke now) and then possibly we may stay for dessert too? Just to ease any lingering doubts about my well-being or appetite?--
Because maybe Mom and Dad have ice cream at their house.....
For now, I will watch Gone With the Wind even though it is really a two-person watching kinda movie. Because:
1) I have to recite both Rhett and Scarlett's lines
2) You always feel worse about eating a lot when you are by yourself
3) There is no one here to ask me how I feel or can they get me anything
4) It is not as much fun. Duh.
so I am off now to do important, self-indulgent, pitiful things. Hurray!
Maybe also I can get a picture of my handy work.