Sunday, April 3, 2011

Train of Thought

So I've been cooking.
Caramel Popcorn Sauce

Marshmallow Crunchy Things

Mmmm...melty marshmallows and butter


Lunch today
As I run around the kitchen and stir and knead and roll and bend and pull and burn and slice....I think about how ok it is for me to be eating all of this great stuff because GEEZ am I getting a work out making it!

It was when i was baking that I decided to go back to school. Accounting anyone?

But it's when I'm gardening that I really get to think. Is there anything better than having dirt stuck under your fingernails and you know it won't come out and there's mud in your wedding ring and your dogs are constantly coming over to sniff your ears with their wet noses just to make sure that you are doing just fine. "I'm just fine!" I tell them. Sometimes they are the only ones who check. And doesn't that just make you love them all the more? If we all had dogs and cats for friends I think we'd be a lot better off. They are soft and fuzzy and when I'm feeling especially moody, but not for any good reason, they always make me feel like no reason...well, it's a very good reason.

And this is what I think about as I dig holes for my mums and save the earthworms from sharp troweling deaths. Isn't it funny where your mind goes?

And wouldn't you know I got a dang sunburn.
And I still haven't posted anything.
Maybe I need to go "think" some more.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Flounder -- Not the Fish

Annual pay for Bachelors graduates without higher degrees. Typical starting graduates have 2 years of experience; mid-career have 15 years. See full methodology for more.

What's a girl to do that's not good at math?
No really. What am I going to do?

I want a Bachelor's degree. But in these times you pretty much have to be the best or the luckiest in order to get a good job with good pay. Apparently you also have to be a mathemetician. Which I am not. I am creative and artsy. Not good with numbers.

And I'm also indecisive. I went to a community college (a 2 year school) for 4 years! Finally to emerge with an Associates in Paralegal Studies. My sister graduated high school, declared "I'm going to be a Chemical Engineer!" and went with it. One of the highest paid degrees I might add. How do people do that? Am I the only one who thinks that they could probably do a lot of things good but I'm probably not going to be great at anything? I could probably go and get 10 degrees and still not know exactly which one I'd want to pursue.

I'd be a good chef.
I'd be a good Internet manager.
I'd be a good landscaper.
I'd be a good secretary.
I'd be a good masseuse.

But what will I be great at? Or am I just going to flounder around in life, thinking of a lot of things I'd like to do, but never finding the thing I'm going to love & really be great at.

Yup. I'm a flounderer. Is there a cure?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Oh the Things You'll See

I am now in love with cream puffs. I kind of want to spell it "creme" when I text people or post it on Facebook but that seems like it might be a little uppity.
Like I should say "Creme, dahhhhling, I baked these wooonderful creme puffs."
Anyway, it went like this
and then like this...
and finally they emerged from the oven. True to their puffy name.

And then I dragged my husband out into the fresh air with dog leashes in hand! After a little bit of a struggle to harness our big babies into their collars and leashes, we were off! Through the gates! Down the driveway! To the street!

We don't have sidewalks where I live. Imagine that.
But we do have...
Which makes for interesting walking experiences. Cows are very interested in human people with their dogs tied to them. They probably wonder about our sanity sometimes. Because I'm sure cows are that smart right?

We also find porn in wal-mart bags on the side of the road. It's probably a classic! I'm sure someone happened upon this little plastic bag of treasure and snatched it up quick like. I can only imagine what the circumstances were that led up to the poor owner of this dvd tossing it out his truck window.
Angry wife? Pissed off girlfriend? Shocked mother? Or did he think that's how you recycled your porn?
Probably the last one.

And then I took a nap and watched Vicki Cristina Barcelona. (Moral of that story: Don't go to Barcelona unless you are single or can resist the charming accents of handsome and troubled painters.)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hold My Hand?

see the little bald head?

I think that there is no cuter thing in this world than a little old couple.
There are lots of wonderful things about them but, the little old man is especially cute. He is short, hunched over just a little, he's got a shiny bald spot on the top of his head, and he wears a sweater vest. His wife is white headed and wears bright red lipstick from a silver tube. But the best thing about this couple is that their eyes are still shiny. You know what I mean. They still twinkle and sparkle when they talk to each other. And I'd like to pretend that they still hold hands. Don't we all want to be the couple that holds hands? They hold hands through it all, and you can see it in their eyes when they look at each other and he reaches for her hand, the memories that they've made and how they've always had a hand to count on, to hold onto. Through births and deaths and tests of love and endurance. Through job changes and moving and being broke.They may walk slower and talk slower than they used to, but they still hold each others hand, fingers entwined, firmly. And isn't holding hands just the epitome of love? Of true love? It's not asking for anything or demanding's unassuming and reassuring. It just lets the other person know that you are there and that you're staying.

And, as a bonus, it's not all slobbery like kissing.
So tell me, is there anything better than holding hands?

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Never Ending Battle

With a husband there will be battles. Some of them, you've just gotta let go.

For instance, you don't bother him when he does laundry (because HE'S doing the laundry) and make sure he isn't using way too much detergent and sorting the socks and towels and washing the jeans separately.
You don't. bother. him. 
i repeat -- HE DOES THE LAUNDRY.

You also don't bother him if he's cleaning something. Anything really. I've found it's better to go clean it again later. This is a more rare occurrence so it's not one to worry about.

And do not ever ever ever ever bother him when he is rubbing your feet or back or bringing you wine. Lay perfectly still. I try to make him forget that he is even doing it. I don't say "oh, rub my right shoulder." or "can you massage that a little harder?" NO. You don't speak, barely even breathe. This is one of those things that is too good to mess up by talking to him. And when he is bringing you wine, you be sweet. Or he will bring you the wrong wine. And that is never good I promise.

yes, it says kitchen but heck! who cares! 

But some, you've gotta win.
When I first placed the soap in the bathroom, I placed it on the right side of the sink. (Right has two meanings and I believe in this case, I've got both of them covered.)
Then somehow it ended up on the left side of the sink.
So I put it back on the right.
And then again, it's back on the left!
How is this happening I wonder. Is it Meeko? He is pretty devious and sneaky and we did put him on a diet and is he that pissed off at me....? No.
It must be that other devious and sneaky house buddy of mine, the husband.
Why would he do this to me? I like my soap on the right. It is only right for it to be on the right I think.

This battle is still ongoing. We will see how it ends up.

In other news, in regards to my last post, my dearest hubby brought me home a big bag of pizza rolls, a tub of chocolate ice cream, and a large bottle of wine. I almost cried. What a lucky girl I am to have such a sweet manly man. What a good combination!!!

Also, why the heck don't they just send Lindsay Lohan to jail for good already?!

Friday, February 4, 2011


After you karate chop a telephone pole in half with your car because the icy road thought that it would be fun to spin you around and then fling you off of it's slick, glassy surface you kind of need some ice cream.

So today I will send my dear hubby some texts filled with the things that I would love to have to eat. The first one will say...

--Dearest love of mine that should still be feeling some thankfulness in your heart that your truest sweetest love did not have to go to the hospital last night or break her lovely hands that cook you such good dinners and do all the dirty dishes and scrub the dirty toilet -- will you please bring me some chocolate ice cream?--

--Also, would it be possible for you to bring home a bag of those yummy pizza rolls that I do love so much just in case I accidentally become overwhelmed with emotion at my luck and good fortune and eat the rest of the pizza rolls I already have in the freezer to keep myself from crying?--

--Is this too much to ask after I destroyed your car and made you pay to buy a new telephone pole for the phone company?--

--Just a little? We are really broke now and I don't have a car? Well then...I guess ice cream could wait.--

You may think at this point I might drop it or reply with something like -Ok honey. I understand-
Because that always gets them. But I'm smarter than that. I just rethink my strategy.

--Could possibly we go visit my mommy and my daddy tonight so that I can let them know that I really am alright by eating a good hearty meal over at their house (from their cabinets, because we are really broke now) and then possibly we may stay for dessert too? Just to ease any lingering doubts about my well-being or appetite?--
Because maybe Mom and Dad have ice cream at their house.....

For now, I will watch Gone With the Wind even though it is really a two-person watching kinda movie. Because:
1) I have to recite both Rhett and Scarlett's lines
2) You always feel worse about eating a lot when you are by yourself
3) There is no one here to ask me how I feel or can they get me anything
4) It is not as much fun. Duh.

so I am off now to do important, self-indulgent, pitiful things. Hurray!
Maybe also I can get a picture of my handy work.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Thank God for Holidays

I think what I really mean is, thank God for holidays for which I receive presents. I am now celebrating a little known holiday (actually, I probably made it up) called
Hunting Season Is Over Praise Jesus! Day
I'm not sure if everyone knows what this day means to me. It means that these --
Stairs of Many Splinters will receive carpet! Please, don't hold yourself back...jump up and down for goodness sake!

In the mornings I get up and put my robe on (and pants of course) and slowly make my way down the Stairs of Many Splinters to make my Oatmeal Loving Husband some Loving Oatmeal. But do you know what you always forget in the morning when your ponytail is barely hanging on and your eyes will only open half way and your cat wants to walk between your legs while you navigate the treacherous stairs?

Your phone. I always leave it on the bedside table. 
Then, it never fails, that phone will ring or buzz or vibrate or make a ding dong noise and I'm like .... hmm.
It is far away. Up the Stairs of Many Splinters.
And all this brings me to my point....
This is what I need for Valentine's Day.
Doesn't she look happy? Wouldn't I look that happy if I had one? Am I that lazy? umm...I don't want to answer that? It looks fun though....
What I'm getting is this -
on these -
and gosh, aren't we just excited? (Don't they look very intimidating from the bottom? before you've had your coffee? before 8 a.m.? without carpet? can't you feel the burn?!) I thought so.

Now, as soon as we get this carpet down after the celebration of Hunting Season is Over Praise Jesus! Day you can bet I will wear my socks on my stairs and I will slide down them on my bottom sides. And there will be a picture.

And some random photos of my Meeko to end this post. 
In case anyone was worried about my cat's love of water, well, here ya go.

Now, everyone go out and do something wonderful with your hunter husband to celebrate the new holiday of Hunting Season is Over Praise Jesus! Day and to celebrate my getting carpet on the Stairs of Many Splinters day!

p.s. Just got a text from the hubby (and yes, I had to go upstairs and get my phone!!) and said he was cooking dinner tonight! What a great holiday so far! I wonder if next year kids will get out of school for this?