Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Oh the Things You'll See

I am now in love with cream puffs. I kind of want to spell it "creme" when I text people or post it on Facebook but that seems like it might be a little uppity.
Like I should say "Creme, dahhhhling, I baked these wooonderful creme puffs."
Anyway, it went like this
and then like this...
and finally they emerged from the oven. True to their puffy name.

And then I dragged my husband out into the fresh air with dog leashes in hand! After a little bit of a struggle to harness our big babies into their collars and leashes, we were off! Through the gates! Down the driveway! To the street!

We don't have sidewalks where I live. Imagine that.
But we do have...
Which makes for interesting walking experiences. Cows are very interested in human people with their dogs tied to them. They probably wonder about our sanity sometimes. Because I'm sure cows are that smart right?

We also find porn in wal-mart bags on the side of the road. It's probably a classic! I'm sure someone happened upon this little plastic bag of treasure and snatched it up quick like. I can only imagine what the circumstances were that led up to the poor owner of this dvd tossing it out his truck window.
Angry wife? Pissed off girlfriend? Shocked mother? Or did he think that's how you recycled your porn?
Probably the last one.

And then I took a nap and watched Vicki Cristina Barcelona. (Moral of that story: Don't go to Barcelona unless you are single or can resist the charming accents of handsome and troubled painters.)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hold My Hand?

see the little bald head?

I think that there is no cuter thing in this world than a little old couple.
There are lots of wonderful things about them but, the little old man is especially cute. He is short, hunched over just a little, he's got a shiny bald spot on the top of his head, and he wears a sweater vest. His wife is white headed and wears bright red lipstick from a silver tube. But the best thing about this couple is that their eyes are still shiny. You know what I mean. They still twinkle and sparkle when they talk to each other. And I'd like to pretend that they still hold hands. Don't we all want to be the couple that holds hands? They hold hands through it all, and you can see it in their eyes when they look at each other and he reaches for her hand, the memories that they've made and how they've always had a hand to count on, to hold onto. Through births and deaths and tests of love and endurance. Through job changes and moving and being broke.They may walk slower and talk slower than they used to, but they still hold each others hand, fingers entwined, firmly. And isn't holding hands just the epitome of love? Of true love? It's not asking for anything or demanding's unassuming and reassuring. It just lets the other person know that you are there and that you're staying.

And, as a bonus, it's not all slobbery like kissing.
So tell me, is there anything better than holding hands?

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Never Ending Battle

With a husband there will be battles. Some of them, you've just gotta let go.

For instance, you don't bother him when he does laundry (because HE'S doing the laundry) and make sure he isn't using way too much detergent and sorting the socks and towels and washing the jeans separately.
You don't. bother. him. 
i repeat -- HE DOES THE LAUNDRY.

You also don't bother him if he's cleaning something. Anything really. I've found it's better to go clean it again later. This is a more rare occurrence so it's not one to worry about.

And do not ever ever ever ever bother him when he is rubbing your feet or back or bringing you wine. Lay perfectly still. I try to make him forget that he is even doing it. I don't say "oh, rub my right shoulder." or "can you massage that a little harder?" NO. You don't speak, barely even breathe. This is one of those things that is too good to mess up by talking to him. And when he is bringing you wine, you be sweet. Or he will bring you the wrong wine. And that is never good I promise.

yes, it says kitchen but heck! who cares! 

But some, you've gotta win.
When I first placed the soap in the bathroom, I placed it on the right side of the sink. (Right has two meanings and I believe in this case, I've got both of them covered.)
Then somehow it ended up on the left side of the sink.
So I put it back on the right.
And then again, it's back on the left!
How is this happening I wonder. Is it Meeko? He is pretty devious and sneaky and we did put him on a diet and is he that pissed off at me....? No.
It must be that other devious and sneaky house buddy of mine, the husband.
Why would he do this to me? I like my soap on the right. It is only right for it to be on the right I think.

This battle is still ongoing. We will see how it ends up.

In other news, in regards to my last post, my dearest hubby brought me home a big bag of pizza rolls, a tub of chocolate ice cream, and a large bottle of wine. I almost cried. What a lucky girl I am to have such a sweet manly man. What a good combination!!!

Also, why the heck don't they just send Lindsay Lohan to jail for good already?!

Friday, February 4, 2011


After you karate chop a telephone pole in half with your car because the icy road thought that it would be fun to spin you around and then fling you off of it's slick, glassy surface you kind of need some ice cream.

So today I will send my dear hubby some texts filled with the things that I would love to have to eat. The first one will say...

--Dearest love of mine that should still be feeling some thankfulness in your heart that your truest sweetest love did not have to go to the hospital last night or break her lovely hands that cook you such good dinners and do all the dirty dishes and scrub the dirty toilet -- will you please bring me some chocolate ice cream?--

--Also, would it be possible for you to bring home a bag of those yummy pizza rolls that I do love so much just in case I accidentally become overwhelmed with emotion at my luck and good fortune and eat the rest of the pizza rolls I already have in the freezer to keep myself from crying?--

--Is this too much to ask after I destroyed your car and made you pay to buy a new telephone pole for the phone company?--

--Just a little? We are really broke now and I don't have a car? Well then...I guess ice cream could wait.--

You may think at this point I might drop it or reply with something like -Ok honey. I understand-
Because that always gets them. But I'm smarter than that. I just rethink my strategy.

--Could possibly we go visit my mommy and my daddy tonight so that I can let them know that I really am alright by eating a good hearty meal over at their house (from their cabinets, because we are really broke now) and then possibly we may stay for dessert too? Just to ease any lingering doubts about my well-being or appetite?--
Because maybe Mom and Dad have ice cream at their house.....

For now, I will watch Gone With the Wind even though it is really a two-person watching kinda movie. Because:
1) I have to recite both Rhett and Scarlett's lines
2) You always feel worse about eating a lot when you are by yourself
3) There is no one here to ask me how I feel or can they get me anything
4) It is not as much fun. Duh.

so I am off now to do important, self-indulgent, pitiful things. Hurray!
Maybe also I can get a picture of my handy work.